One of the greatest as well as most humbling realization is that my life and existence is a gift from God. All that exist, from the sub-atomic particle to the purest seraphim owe their being from the Lord. If St. Thomas Aquinas defines justice as to give what is due, then existence is neither due to me nor to all of us. I cannot demand the Lord that He should create me to be the handsomest of all, the richest of all, and the brightest of all. Not even I can ask from Him to possess a face like a Korean actor! Then why did God create me?

The answer lies beyond the justice of God, and what is beyond his justice? It is His Mercy. If His justice asks for “tooth for a tooth” and “eye for an eye”, His Mercy enables one to “give to the one who asks of you, and do not turn your back on one who wants to borrow. (Matt. 5:42)”. If justice is to “love your neighbor and hate your enemy,” (Matt. 5:43), mercy is to “love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you (Matt. 5:44 NAB).” If God simply exercises His justice, I would not have had my being, but a God is “gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in love and fidelity (Exo 34:6).” And I am here now, alive and kicking, because of God’s mercy. It is a gift precisely because it does not come from my merit and achievement, but freely given.

However, the first gift of life is not the only gift He grants me. The precious gifts keep coming: the gift of family, the gift of faith, the gift of (Dominican) vocation.

This series of precious gifts are leading me to another even more precious gift: the gift of priesthood. Looking into myself, I am aware that I am far from worthy. I have been sinful man, a broken in many possible ways, and I have hurt a numberless people. Often, I am ungrateful for tremendous gifts and blessing God has showered me. And yet, here I am, quoting the motto of Pope Francis, “miserando atque eligendo” – by God’s merciful choice, in front of the great mystery of faith. As I am ordained by the laying hands of Most. Rev. Antonius Subianto, OSC, DD, I will be, as Bishop Robert Barron would point out, “the bearer of the divine mystery”. This gift does not simply add some sacramental works in my sleeves, but it transforms my very being and identity into the image and likeness of Christ the Head [in persona Christi Capitis]. I participate in the identity and mission of the bishops and fellow priests as bridge-maker [pontifex] between God and humanity, to allow the people of God to embrace the divine mystery.

Every time I celebrate Eucharist [thanksgiving], I shall give thanks to the Lord for the gifts of Mercy. As I have received the gifs, it is now my turn to share these gifts to others so that people of God may feel His Mercy. At the heart of the Eucharist is the thanksgiving over the most precious gift of all, the body and blood of Jesus Christ, being blessed, broken and shared. As I receive this precious gift, my lips proclaim the Word of God, and my hands lift the bread of life and the chalice of salvation, I shall offer my life, like the life of Jesus, to be broken and shared to nourish the people of God.

However, despite tremendous power and privilege the ordination brings, I keep confessing that I am weak, sinful, and not worthy. Thus, as I begin this new chapter of my life, I implore for God’s Mercy and yours.