Feast of the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary and Joseph

December 31, 2023

Luke 2:22-40

“Wives, be subordinate to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord [Col 1:18].” To us, modern readers, the words of St. Paul raise our eyebrows. How come St. Paul instructed women to be subjected and even slaves to men? Were not men and women created equal in dignity? Is St. Paul anti-women or even a misogynist?

To answer these objections, we must understand the historical context of St. Paul and the Church in Colossae. In the Greco-Roman society of the first century AD, women were basically the household property of men. They were primarily responsible for producing legitimate heirs to their husbands and were expected to care for the house. They were to obey their husbands in all respects. Indeed, there were strong and dominant women, but these were exceptions. Even for the women of nobility, though they enjoyed rare lives of luxury, they also turned out to be political tools. They were offered as brides to secure political alliances and the families’ economic security.

Reading St. Paul in this context, his letter is, in fact, revolutionary. In the section of the instructions to the Christian families (see Col 3:18-21), St. Paul did not write, “Husbands, tell your wives that they need to be your subjects!” Instead, he addressed his female readers directly and made his instructions clear to them. This writing style unearthed Paul’s fundamental understanding of the relationship between men and women: wives stand on equal ground with their husbands. What is even more remarkable is that St. Paul mentioned the women first and the men second. This was unheard of! St. Paul transgressed the cultural limitations to preach, “For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus [Gal 3:27-28].”

Now, how do we understand Paul’s word, ‘be subordinate’? St. Paul used the original Greek word ‘ὑποτάσσω’ (read: hupotasso). It literally means ‘to be assigned under.’ So, the wives are assigned under the husbands. Yet, it does not mean that women are lower in human dignity and status in the family. St. Paul understood that the human family is also a form of human community, and any human community need ‘order’ to flourish. A leader is a responsible person who ensures that the order works properly and, thus, generates the greatest good for everyone in the community. In a family context, St. Paul recognized the husband is the leader of an order called family.

St. Paul further clarified this ‘subordination’ by his instruction to the husbands, “Husbands, love your wives, and avoid any bitterness toward them.” For Paul, family is an order of love. Yes, the men are the heads of families, but they are not tyrants but the leaders of love. Men who are naturally stronger physically are expected to protect and provide for the family. Paul expected husbands to give up their lives for their families, as Christ gave His life for the Church (see Eph 5:25). Thus, ‘ὑποτάσσω’ means that wives are under the radical love of husbands.

We recognize that Paul’s ideal is not always happening. Because of our weakness and the devil’s attack, we fall into sin, and we fail to become a good husband or wife. Yet, we must not lose hope because this is God’s plan for us, and we continue to strive in holiness through God’s grace.

Rome

Valentinus Bayuhadi Ruseno, OP