Tag: marriage

Love and Betrayal

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5th Sunday of Lent [C]

April 6, 2025

John 8:1-11

The story of the woman caught in adultery is one that frequently appears during Lent, especially in Year C. What lessons can we draw from this story?

At first glance, the narrative seems straightforward, yet it carries profound lessons worth unpacking. While we often associate it with God’s mercy and forgiveness—which is certainly true— there is more to it than what meets the eyes. In Scripture, adultery is not merely a grave sin; it also serves as a metaphor for idolatry, the gravest of spiritual betrayals. The prophet Hosea, for instance, was called to marry an unfaithful woman to symbolize God’s covenant with wayward Israel (Hosea 1–3). Ezekiel condemns Jerusalem and Samaria as “adulterous sisters” who chased after foreign gods (Ezekiel 23:30). Similarly, in the New Testament, James rebukes those who prioritize worldly “friendship” over God, calling them “adulterers.” (James 4:4).

This connection between adultery and idolatry reveals a deeper truth about our relationship with God. He did not create us as slaves driven by fear or as mindless robots bound by programming. Instead, He made us free and capable of love, desiring a relationship with us; one built on devotion rather than obligation. In mystical terms, God invites us to become His spiritual lovers, meaning we must love Him above all else and serve Him not out of fear, but out of deep, sincere love.

One of the earliest saints to speak of this “spiritual marriage” was St. Catherine of Siena. As young as six years old, she declared herself the bride of Christ, refusing earthly marriage to devote herself entirely to Jesus. At the age of 20, she experienced the spiritual marriage with Christ. And her profound love united her deeply to Christ to the point of sharing His wounds. She received stigmata around five years before she passed away.

The Church constantly teaches that we, collectively, are the Bride of Christ. Just as Eve was formed from Adam’s side while he slept, the Church was born from the pierced side of Jesus on the cross. Through baptism, we are reborn as members of His Church—His beloved. Through the Eucharist, we are nourished and sustained by His Body and Blood. Thus, our love for God must surpass all others, and even our love for family and friends should flow from our love for Christ.

This is why preferring anything above God constitutes spiritual adultery. The story of Jesus forgiving the adulterous woman illustrates both God’s unwavering love and mercy and our own unfaithfulness. Lent calls us back to our first and truest love—the only love that brings lasting happiness.

Rome

Valentinus Bayuhadi Ruseno, OP

Reflection Questions:

How do we relate to God—as a servant obeying a master, or as a lover responding to Love Himself? Do we love God above all else? Do we love others for the sake of God? What unhealthy attachments to the world do we need to examine? How can we return to my true love—God alone?

Why did Moses allow divorce?

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27th Sunday in Ordinary Time [B]

October 6, 2024

Mark 10:2-16

The Pharisees once again put Jesus to the test. This time, they asked the question of divorce. However, Jesus did something unexpected. He ‘changed’ the law of divorce. Why did Jesus “erase” the law of divorce?

Jesus responded by inquiring about the foundation of this law of divorce. The Pharisees pointed to Moses as the source of the law as he allowed divorce by giving a certificate of divorce to the wife (see Deu 24:1). Then, immediately, Jesus fired back, “For your hardness of heart he wrote you this commandment. But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’” (Mar 10:5-6) Jesus made clear that divorce is not the will of God, but Moses was forced to permit it because of “the hardness of heart.” But what is this hardness of heart?

We recall that the Israelites in the time of Moses were so used to the ancient Egyptian practices including divorce. In ancient Egypt, marriage was primarily a private and cultural event, not religious. The couple themselves governed marriage. They would divorce their partner if they no longer saw their marriage viable. But divorce was not the only solution. If a man found his first wife no longer attractive, he could marry another wife without divorcing the first woman.

When God liberated Israelites from Egypt, God reintroduced His will that marriage is holy and part of God’s plan for men and women. Marriage was not just biologically or culturally driven but divinely instituted. Thus, God decreed that marriage must be monogamous and indissoluble. Yet, introducing God’s original plan to the ancient Israelites proved difficult. Indeed, the Israelites were physically liberated from Egypt, but their mentality remained enslaved. The Israelites were somehow able to accept monogamous marriage, but to add another requirement, that is, ‘no divorce’ was too much and too soon. Moses knew that the Israelites would commit more rebellions, and even men would kill their wives to get rid of them. Thus, Moses conceded that divorce should be allowed if the women were sufficiently protected through the divorce certificate.

Now, hundreds of years after Moses, God deemed the time has come to bring the original will of God into marriage. Thus, Jesus came not to ‘change’ the divorce law but to reintroduce God’s authentic will. Moreover, Jesus also brought the Holy Spirit to re-create human hearts, from the heart of stones into the heart of flesh. Now, the choice is ours. Will we follow God’s will in our lives and marriage by relying on His graces, or will we instead become stubborn and follow our own design?

Rome

Valentinus Bayuhadi Ruseno, OP

Questions for reflection

How do we understand marriage? Is it a biological necessity, social convention, or divinely instituted? How do we feel about marriage? Is it a burden, obligation, or a blessing? What do we want to achieve in marriage? Is it pleasure, welfare, comfort, or holiness? What do we do when we encounter difficulty in marriage? Do we see marriage without divorce as a curse or a path to heaven?

Be Subordinate to Your Husband(?)

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21st Sunday in Ordinary Time [B]

August 25, 2024

Ephesus 5:21-32

In his letter to the Ephesians, St. Paul instructed wives to be subordinate to their husbands, not only in matters of economics or raising children but in everything. St. Paul’s teaching seems wrong and even sexist to modern readers. Are not women and men equal? Why did wives have to obey men in everything? Are the women mere slaves of their husbands?

Firstly, we need to know Paul’s historical context. At this time, women were indeed considered not equal to men. Save for some exceptional females, women were treated as the property of men. While men were working outside, women stayed at home. Wives were to take care of the house, give birth to the children, and raise them. Generally, women had no right to inheritance and no political rights. It was just a bad time for women to live.

Paul recognized this situation and challenged it. How? He wrote the letter addressed to wives! Women did not receive letters, and if they did, the letter must be addressed to their husbands. By this simple act alone, Paul not only challenged the cultural mentality of his time but also affirmed God’s original purpose. “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them (Gen 1:27).” Both men and women were created in God’s image and, thus, share the same dignity as God’s children.

Yet, Paul also acknowledged that though men and women are equal in dignity, they have different roles and functions. Biologically, men are physically stronger and, thus, are responsible for protecting and providing. In comparison, women possess the character to give and nurture life. Both men and women are complementary to each other. At the same time, this mutual relationship creates a community, marriage and family. Like other groups or communities, marriage presupposes order and hierarchy to function properly. St. Paul’s word ‘subordinating’ finds its true meaning in this understanding. To be subordinated means to be under the proper order. Thus, St. Paul began with a statement to both husband and wife, “Be subordinate to one another out of reverence for Christ!” because both must be under proper order.

Here comes Paul’s unique contribution. Husband and wife are like a relationship between Jesus and the Church, His bride. Like Jesus, husbands are the heads and figures of authority. Yet, Paul also reminded us that the order that governs Jesus and His Church is love. So also, the authority given to men is to love their women. Men love their wives to the point of dying, and only with dying can they lead their wives in holiness. Without dying, men’s authority turns to a reign of terror, and women are rebelling. Marriage becomes unhappy and even collapses. Only when men and women are subjecting themselves to the order of love will they reach the purpose of marriage, which is a way of holiness.

Surabaya

Valentinus Bayuhadi Ruseno, OP

Guide questions:

For husbands: how do you love your wife? Will you die for your wife? To what do you die? Pride, anger, selfishness? Do you hurt your wife? Do you apologize to your wife when you do something wrong? Do you lead your wife to holiness? How do you lead your wife into holiness? Are you a good head/leader of the family?

For wives: how do you love your husbands? Do you obey your husband? Do you help him to be a good husband and father? How do you help your husband in living in holiness? Do you hurt your husband (and how)?

Tunduklah pada Suamimu (?)

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Hari Minggu ke-21 dalam Waktu Biasa [B]
25 Agustus 2024
Efesus 5:21-32

Dalam suratnya kepada jemaat di Efesus, Santo Paulus memerintahkan para istri untuk tunduk pada suami mereka, tidak hanya dalam hal ekonomi atau membesarkan anak tetapi dalam segala hal. Ajaran Santo Paulus ini tampak ketinggalan zaman, tidak relevan lagi dan bahkan salah. Bukankah perempuan dan laki-laki itu setara? Mengapa para istri harus taat kepada suami dalam segala hal? Apakah para wanita hanyalah budak dari suami mereka?

Pertama, kita perlu mengetahui konteks historis dari Paulus. Pada masa itu, wanita memang dianggap tidak setara dengan pria. Kecuali beberapa perempuan yang luar biasa, perempuan diperlakukan sebagai milik laki-laki. Sementara pria bekerja di luar, wanita tinggal di rumah. Para istri harus mengurus rumah, melahirkan anak, dan membesarkan mereka. Umumnya, perempuan tidak memiliki hak atas warisan, apalagi memiliki hak politik. Itu adalah waktu yang buruk bagi perempuan untuk hidup.

Paulus menyadari situasi ini dan menantangnya. Bagaimana? Dia menulis surat yang tidak hanya ditujukan kepada suami, tetapi juga ditujukan kepada para istri! Pada waktu itu, wanita tidak menerima surat, dan jika mereka menerima surat, surat itu harus melalui suami mereka. Dengan tindakan sederhana ini, Paulus tidak hanya menantang mentalitas budaya pada masa itu`, tetapi juga menegaskan tujuan awal Allah. “Maka Allah menciptakan manusia itu menurut citra-Nya, menurut citra Allah diciptakan-Nya dia; laki-laki dan perempuan diciptakan-Nya mereka (Kej. 1:27).” Baik laki-laki maupun perempuan diciptakan menurut citra Allah, dan dengan demikian, memiliki martabat yang sama sebagai anak-anak Allah.

Namun, Paulus juga mengakui bahwa meskipun pria dan wanita memiliki martabat yang sama, mereka memiliki peran dan fungsi yang berbeda. Secara biologis, pria secara fisik lebih kuat dan, dengan demikian, bertanggung jawab untuk melindungi dan menafkahi. Sebagai perbandingan, perempuan memiliki karakter untuk memberi dan memelihara kehidupan. Baik pria maupun wanita saling melengkapi satu sama lain. Pada saat yang sama, hubungan timbal balik ini menciptakan sebuah komunitas kecil bernama pernikahan, dan keluarga. Dan, seperti kelompok atau komunitas lainnya, pernikahan mengandaikan adanya tatanan dan hirarki agar dapat berfungsi dengan baik. Kata ‘tunduk’ yang digunakan oleh Santo Paulus dalam bahasa Yunani adalah ‘ὑποτάσσω (hupotasso)’ yang secara harafiah berarti ‘di bawah pada sebuah tatanan’. Oleh karena itu, ‘tunduk’ berarti berada di bawah tatanan yang tepat. Tidak heran jika Santo Paulus memulai dengan sebuah perintah kepada suami dan istri, “Hendaklah kamu tunduk yang satu kepada yang lain sebagai tanda hormatmu kepada Kristus!” karena keduanya, suami dan istri, harus berada di bawah tatanan yang benar. Namun, tatanan macam apa?

Di sinilah kontribusi unik Paulus. Suami dan istri adalah seperti hubungan antara Yesus dan Gereja, mempelai-Nya. Seperti Yesus, suami adalah kepala dan figur otoritas. Namun, Paulus juga mengingatkan kita bahwa tatanan yang mengatur Yesus dan Gereja-Nya adalah kasih. Demikian juga, otoritas yang diberikan kepada para pria adalah untuk mengasihi istri mereka. Pria mengasihi istri mereka sampai mati, dan hanya dengan kematian mereka dapat memimpin istri mereka dalam kekudusan. Tanpa mati terhadap diri mereka sendiri, otoritas pria berubah menjadi tatanan yang penuh teror, dan wanita akan memberontak. Pernikahan menjadi tidak bahagia dan bahkan runtuh. Hanya ketika pria dan wanita menundukkan diri mereka pada tatanan kasih, mereka akan mencapai tujuan pernikahan, yaitu kekudusan.

Surabaya
Valentinus Bayuhadi Ruseno, OP

Pertanyaan-pertanyaan untuk direnungkan:
Untuk para suami: bagaimana Engkau mengasihi istrimu? Apakah Engkau rela mati untuk istrimu? Siap mati untuk Kesombongan, kemarahan, keegoisan? Apakah pernah Engkau menyakiti istrimu? Apakah Engkau meminta maaf kepada istrimu ketika Engkau melakukan kesalahan? Apakah Engkau memimpin istrimu ke dalam kekudusan? Bagaimana Engkau memimpin istrimu ke dalam kekudusan? Apakah Engkau seorang kepala/pemimpin keluarga yang baik?

Untuk para istri: bagaimana Engkau mengasihi suamimu? Apakah Engkau menaati suamimu? Apakah Engkau menolong suamimu untuk menjadi suami dan ayah yang baik? Bagaimana Engkau menolong suamimu untuk hidup dalam kekudusan? Apakah Engkau pernah menyakiti hati suamimu?

Wives, Husband and Family in God’s Plan

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Feast of the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary and Joseph

December 31, 2023

Luke 2:22-40

“Wives, be subordinate to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord [Col 1:18].” To us, modern readers, the words of St. Paul raise our eyebrows. How come St. Paul instructed women to be subjected and even slaves to men? Were not men and women created equal in dignity? Is St. Paul anti-women or even a misogynist?

To answer these objections, we must understand the historical context of St. Paul and the Church in Colossae. In the Greco-Roman society of the first century AD, women were basically the household property of men. They were primarily responsible for producing legitimate heirs to their husbands and were expected to care for the house. They were to obey their husbands in all respects. Indeed, there were strong and dominant women, but these were exceptions. Even for the women of nobility, though they enjoyed rare lives of luxury, they also turned out to be political tools. They were offered as brides to secure political alliances and the families’ economic security.

Reading St. Paul in this context, his letter is, in fact, revolutionary. In the section of the instructions to the Christian families (see Col 3:18-21), St. Paul did not write, “Husbands, tell your wives that they need to be your subjects!” Instead, he addressed his female readers directly and made his instructions clear to them. This writing style unearthed Paul’s fundamental understanding of the relationship between men and women: wives stand on equal ground with their husbands. What is even more remarkable is that St. Paul mentioned the women first and the men second. This was unheard of! St. Paul transgressed the cultural limitations to preach, “For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus [Gal 3:27-28].”

Now, how do we understand Paul’s word, ‘be subordinate’? St. Paul used the original Greek word ‘ὑποτάσσω’ (read: hupotasso). It literally means ‘to be assigned under.’ So, the wives are assigned under the husbands. Yet, it does not mean that women are lower in human dignity and status in the family. St. Paul understood that the human family is also a form of human community, and any human community need ‘order’ to flourish. A leader is a responsible person who ensures that the order works properly and, thus, generates the greatest good for everyone in the community. In a family context, St. Paul recognized the husband is the leader of an order called family.

St. Paul further clarified this ‘subordination’ by his instruction to the husbands, “Husbands, love your wives, and avoid any bitterness toward them.” For Paul, family is an order of love. Yes, the men are the heads of families, but they are not tyrants but the leaders of love. Men who are naturally stronger physically are expected to protect and provide for the family. Paul expected husbands to give up their lives for their families, as Christ gave His life for the Church (see Eph 5:25). Thus, ‘ὑποτάσσω’ means that wives are under the radical love of husbands.

We recognize that Paul’s ideal is not always happening. Because of our weakness and the devil’s attack, we fall into sin, and we fail to become a good husband or wife. Yet, we must not lose hope because this is God’s plan for us, and we continue to strive in holiness through God’s grace.

Rome

Valentinus Bayuhadi Ruseno, OP

Istri, Suami dan Keluarga dalam Rencana Ilahi

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Pesta Keluarga Kudus Yesus, Maria dan Yusuf
31 Desember 2023
Lukas 2:22-40

“Hai istri-istri, tunduklah kepada suamimu, sebagaimana seharusnya di dalam Tuhan. Hai suami-suami, kasihilah istrimu dan janganlah berlaku kasar terhadap dia.” [Kol 1:18-19].” Bagi kita, para pembaca modern, kata-kata Santo Paulus ini membuat kita terheran-heran. Paulus memerintahkan wanita untuk tunduk dan menjadi bawahan dari suami? Bukankah pria dan wanita diciptakan sederajat? Apakah Santo Paulus anti perempuan?

Untuk menjawab keberatan-keberatan ini, kita harus memahami konteks historis Santo Paulus dan Gereja di Kolose. Dalam masyarakat Yunani-Romawi pada abad pertama Masehi, perempuan pada dasarnya adalah properti rumah tangga laki-laki. Mereka terutama bertanggung jawab untuk menghasilkan keturunan yang sah bagi suami dan diharapkan untuk merawat rumah tangga. Mereka harus mematuhi suami mereka dalam segala hal. Memang, ada wanita-wanita yang kuat dan dominan, tetapi ini adalah pengecualian. Bahkan bagi para wanita bangsawan, meskipun mereka menikmati kehidupan mewah yang langka, mereka juga menjadi alat politik. Mereka ditawarkan sebagai pengantin untuk mengamankan aliansi politik dan keamanan ekonomi keluarga.

Dalam konteks ini, surat Paulus sebenarnya sesuatu yang revolusioner. Pada bagian instruksi untuk keluarga Kristiani (lihat Kol 3:18-21), Santo Paulus tidak menulis, “Hai suami, beritahukanlah kepada istrimu, bahwa mereka harus tunduk kepadamu!” Sebaliknya, ia menyapa para pembaca wanitanya secara langsung (tidak melalui suami mereka). Gaya penulisan ini menunjukkan pemahaman Paulus yang mendasar tentang hubungan antara pria dan wanita: istri berdiri sejajar dengan suami mereka. Yang lebih luar biasa lagi adalah Paulus menyebutkan perempuan terlebih dahulu dan laki-laki di urutan kedua. Hal ini belum pernah terjadi sebelumnya! Paulus melanggar batasan budaya pada zamannya untuk mewartakan, “Karena kamu semua, yang dibaptis dalam Kristus, telah mengenakan Kristus. Dalam hal ini tidak ada orang Yahudi atau orang Yunani, tidak ada hamba atau orang merdeka, tidak ada laki-laki atau perempuan, karena kamu semua adalah satu di dalam Kristus Yesus [Gal. 3:27-28].”

Sekarang, bagaimana kita memahami kata Paulus, ‘tunduklah’? Paulus menggunakan kata Yunani ‘ὑποτάσσω’ (baca: hupotasso). Secara harfiah kata ini berarti ‘ditugaskan di bawah’. Jadi, para istri ditugaskan di bawah para suami. Namun, ini tidak berarti bahwa perempuan lebih rendah martabatnya dan statusnya dalam keluarga. Paulus memahami bahwa keluarga juga merupakan suatu bentuk komunitas manusia, dan setiap komunitas manusia membutuhkan sebuah ‘tatanan’ (organisasi) untuk berkembang. Seorang pemimpin adalah orang yang bertanggung jawab untuk memastikan bahwa ‘tatanan’ berjalan dengan baik dan, dengan demikian, menghasilkan kebaikan terbesar bagi semua orang dalam komunitas. Santo Paulus menyatakan bahwa suami adalah pemimpin dari tatanan keluarga.

Paulus memperjelas ‘ὑποτάσσω’ ini dengan instruksinya kepada para suami, “Hai suami-suami, kasihilah isterimu dan janganlah berlaku kasar terhadap dia.” Bagi Paulus, keluarga adalah sebuah tatanan kasih. Ya, para pria adalah kepala keluarga, tetapi mereka bukanlah diktator, melainkan pemimpin kasih. Laki-laki yang secara alamiah lebih kuat secara fisik diharapkan untuk melindungi dan menafkahi keluarga. Paulus mengharapkan para suami untuk menyerahkan hidup mereka bagi keluarga mereka, sebagaimana Kristus telah menyerahkan hidup-Nya bagi Gereja (lihat Efesus 5:25). Dengan demikian, ‘ὑποτάσσω’ berarti istri berada di bawah perlindungan dan kasih dari para suami.

Kita menyadari bahwa cita-cita Paulus tidak selalu terjadi. Karena kelemahan kita dan serangan iblis, kita jatuh ke dalam dosa, dan kita gagal menjadi suami atau istri yang baik. Namun, kita tidak boleh kehilangan harapan karena ini adalah rencana Allah bagi kita, dan kita terus berjuang dalam kekudusan melalui kasih karunia Allah.

Roma
Valentinus Bayuhadi Ruseno, OP

Jesus and His Bride in Time of Pandemic

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5th Sunday of Easter

May 10, 2020

John 14:1-12

joseph n maryWe have closed our churches for public service for weeks. We shifted to livestreaming masses, and we are learning to adjust and to give priority to our health and life, we realize our hearts remain troubled. We long to see Jesus in the Most Blessed Sacrament, we desire to receive Him in the Eucharist, we want to serve Him in the churches, and we miss the sacrament of confession. We are unsure when it is going to end and be back to normal.

We are like the disciples in the Gospel. Their hearts were troubled because Jesus was about to leave them. They were having a Passover meal, and it was supposed a festive celebration. Yet, Jesus announced to them that someone would betray Him, and He would be taken away from them. The disciples had thrown everything away and followed Jesus because they were hoping that Jesus, as the Messiah, would overthrow the Roman empire and restore the glory of Israel. They could not square with the probability of utter failure. Were they holding on false hope? Was Jesus a hoax? Were their sacrifices useless? We are like the disciples. After we give everything to follow Jesus, to serve His Church, and to work in His vineyard, we feel He is missing. Where is Jesus when we needed Him most?

Jesus knew His disciples’ hearts and assured them as He did to have in God and Jesus. Yet, what comes after this word of affirmation is that Jesus told the disciples that there are many dwelling places in His Father’s house, and He will go to prepare the places. To comfort the disciples, Jesus did not say that He would come back victorious, or He would destroy all enemies of Israel. He said that He is going to prepare a dwelling place. It is just not making much sense.

To understand this, we need to know the wedding ceremony at the time of Jesus. During this time, the wedding was done in two steps. The first one is the betrothal, and the second stage is the wedding celebration. During the betrothal, the couple has exchanged vows and have become husband and wife in the eyes of the Law, but they have not stayed together in one house. They had to wait for around one year before the final ceremony. After around year, the bride would be brought in procession to the home of the groom, and they will have a week-long celebration. Why one-year wait? The reason is practical. It gives enough time for the man to prepare for the celebration as well as build a proper place for the bride.

One particular image that the Church has in relation to Jesus is that she is the bride of Christ. If we apply this Jewish wedding rite to the Church and Jesus, we discover that betrothal has taken place, but not yet the final step. Jesus is not with His Church because He is Father’s House to prepare the dwelling place for us, His bride.

In the time of the pandemic, our hearts are sorely troubled, and with the churches are closed, we feel that our Lord is taken away from us. Yet, a difficult time can actually be a passage going to the much better dwelling place prepared by Jesus. We may not see yet the better things we will experience, yet Jesus assures us that God is in control. In this stormy life, we may see a beautiful place prepared by Jesus, our groom.

Valentinus Bayuhadi Ruseno, OP

Like Angels

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32nd Sunday in Ordinary Time – November 10, 2019 – Luke 20:27-38

In today’s Gospel, the Sadducees attempt to test Jesus. Sadducees are a religious faction in first-century Judaism, but unlike the popular Pharisees, they only hold Torah as the only valid source of Jewish religious teachings and practices, and refuse the writings of the prophets, the wisdom books, and later traditions. One of their main doctrines is that they do not believe in the resurrection of the body. Jesus and the Pharisees though always in debate, share in a common fundamental belief in the bodily resurrection. Thus, to ridicule this kind of belief, the Sadducees are using the practice of the levirate marriage. In the Law of Moses, there is a practice to secure the bloodline and inheritance of a man who does not have any offspring. As a solution, the brothers or relatives of the deceased man will marry the widow and produce offspring on his behalf. Then, the Sadducees move to checkmate position. “In the resurrection, whose husband, this woman be?”

However, the Sadducees forget that nobody could win against Jesus in a debate. Jesus thoroughly destroys their plot by revealing what will happen in heaven: we will be like the angels. Who are these angels? Angel or “angelos” in Greek means the messenger. This points to their function, but their true nature is spirit. As a spirit, they have no physical body, and because of this, they are no longer bonded into the limitations of the body. They have no sexual desire or any desire, and therefore, they are not multiplying like humans. What attracts spirit is only a spiritual thing, and since God is the most perfect spirit [John 4:24], only God can give them perfection.

To be like angels in heaven is our destiny. One day, Mother Angelica, the founder of EWTN, talked with two men who had many titles behind their names, and they are proud of those achievements. Yet, during the conversation, they were amazed by Mother Angelica’s wisdom and serenity. She reminded them that the most important title is not what placed behind their names, but one put before their names, and this only has two letters: St. or Saint.

Our journey in this earth only makes sense if we are marching toward a destination beyond this world, and Jesus has pointed out to us that this goal is something spiritual, life like angels. Thus, it is important for us to examine our lives whether we are preparing ourselves every day to life like angels, or we keep ourselves busy with this earthly life. How we are going to prepare ourselves? We give more time to the spiritual things as well as spiritual aspects of our lives. Do we pray enough? Do we worship God often? Do we consult the Holy Spirit in our decision in our lives? Do we read Bible regularly? Do we spend quality time with Jesus? Do we help and love others sincerely?

It is important to remember that our God is the God of the living, thus our lives continue even beyond death. Thus, the kind of life we live here on earth will simply continue to the next life. If we live like an angel in heaven even now in earth, we will not have problem to adjust in the next life. Heaven starts here and now.

Valentinus Bayuhadi Ruseno, OP

Seperti Malaikat

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Minggu ke-32 dalam Masa Biasa – 10 November 2019 – Lukas 20: 27-38

angel n manDalam Injil hari ini, orang-orang Saduki berusaha untuk menguji Yesus. Saduki adalah faksi religius dalam agama Yahudi pada zaman Yesus, tetapi tidak seperti orang-orang Farisi yang populer, kaum Saduki hanya memegang Taurat sebagai satu-satunya sumber yang sah dari ajaran dan praktik keagamaan Yahudi, dan menolak tulisan para nabi, dan tradisi selanjutnya. Salah satu doktrin utama mereka adalah bahwa mereka tidak percaya pada kebangkitan badan. Meskipun, Yesus dan orang-orang Farisi selalu berdebat, Yesus dan orang Farisi berbagi kepercayaan dasar yang sama tentang kebangkitan tubuh. Dengan demikian, untuk menyangkal kepercayaan ini, orang Saduki menggunakan Hukum Taurat untuk membuat malu Yesus. Dalam Hukum Taurat, ada praktik untuk mengamankan garis keturunan dan warisan seorang pria yang tidak memiliki keturunan. Sebagai solusi, saudara-saudara lelaki yang meninggal akan menikahi jandanya dan diharapkan memperoleh keturunan bagi sang saudara yang telah meninggal. Kemudian, para Saduki mengajukan kesimpulan seolah-olah kebangkitan badan tidak masuk akal. “Dalam hari kebangkitan, siapakah yang menjadi suami istri ini?”

Namun, orang Saduki lupa bahwa tidak ada yang bisa menang melawan Yesus dalam debat. Yesus benar-benar menghancurkan argumentasi mereka dengan mengungkapkan apa yang akan terjadi di surga: kita akan menjadi seperti para malaikat. Siapakah malaikat ini? Malaikat atau “angelos” dalam bahasa Yunani berarti pembawa pesan. Ini menunjuk pada fungsi mereka, tetapi kodrat sejati mereka adalah roh. Sebagai roh, mereka tidak memiliki tubuh fisik, dan karena itu, mereka tidak lagi terikat pada keterbatasan tubuh. Mereka tidak memiliki hasrat seksual atau keinginan apa pun, dan karena itu, mereka tidak berkembang biak seperti manusia. Yang dapat menarik roh hanyalah hal rohani, dan karena Allah adalah roh yang paling sempurna [Yoh 4:24], hanya Allah yang dapat memberi mereka kesempurnaan.

Menjadi seperti malaikat di surga adalah tujuan akhir kita. Suatu hari, Sr. Angelica, pendiri EWTN (Eternal Word Television Network), berbincang-bincang dengan dua pria yang memiliki banyak gelar, dan mereka bangga dengan prestasi itu. Namun, selama percakapan, mereka kagum dengan kebijaksanaan dan ketenangan Sr. Angelica. Dia mengingatkan mereka bahwa gelar yang paling penting bukanlah yang diletakkan di belakang nama mereka, tetapi yang diletakkan di depan nama mereka, yakni Santo atau Santa

Perjalanan kita di bumi ini hanya masuk akal jika kita berziarah menuju tujuan di luar dunia ini, dan Yesus telah menunjukkan kepada kita bahwa tujuan ini adalah sesuatu yang spiritual, hidup seperti malaikat. Karena itu, penting bagi kita untuk memeriksa kehidupan kita apakah kita mempersiapkan diri kita setiap hari untuk hidup seperti malaikat, atau malah kita masih sibuk dengan kehidupan duniawi ini. Bagaimana kita akan mempersiapkan diri kita? Apakah kita memberi lebih banyak waktu untuk hal-hal rohani maupun aspek spiritual kehidupan kita? Apakah kita memiliki waktu berdoa? Apakah kita sering menyembah Tuhan? Apakah kita berkonsultasi dengan Roh Kudus dalam mengambil keputusan kita? Apakah kita membaca Alkitab secara teratur? Apakah kita menghabiskan waktu berkualitas bersama Yesus? Apakah kita membantu dan mengasihi sesama dengan tulus?

Penting untuk diingat bahwa Allah kita adalah Allah yang hidup, sehingga hidup kita terus berlanjut bahkan setelah kematian. Dengan demikian, jenis kehidupan yang kita jalani di dunia ini akan berlanjut ke kehidupan selanjutnya. Jika kita hidup seperti malaikat bahkan sekarang di bumi, kita tidak akan memiliki masalah untuk menyesuaikan dalam kehidupan selanjutnya. Surga dimulai di sini dan sekarang.

Valentinus Bayuhadi Ruseno, OP

Jesus the Bridegroom

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Second Sunday in Ordinary Time [January 20, 2019] John 2:1-12

wedding ardiMary who was once a bride and has passed through the tiny-gritty of a Jewish wedding can sense immediately something goes wrong. The wine is running out. In the Jewish context, wine is an essential ingredient in every joyous occasion, as it is ordained by God to “gladden men’s hearts” (Ps 104:15) The lack of it can spell a disastrous result. It is the source of shame, and even a family dispute.

Everyone knows that it is the responsibility of the bridegroom to provide the wine, yet Mary does something unexpected. Instead of notifying the groom, she approached Jesus and points to him the gravity of the looming disaster. However, instead of getting an immediate favorable response, the plot twists even more. In a surprising statement, Jesus says to his mother, “Woman, how does your concern affect me?” (Jn 2:4). This statement is a Semitic expression indicating that the issue at hand is not Jesus’ problem. In a sense, Jesus is right because it is the job of the groom to fix the problem, but in a much more profound sense, Mary is also right because Jesus is the true Bridegroom.

Jesus understands that He is the Bridegroom, but the hour is not at Cana, but at the Cross. Thus, He says, “My Hour has not yet come.” (Jn 2:4) Yet, Mary as a mother knows her Son best. She has faith in Jesus, that Jesus is not only the Bridegroom at the Cross who gives His life for His Bride, the Church, but Jesus is also the Bridegroom in every marriage, family, a community that reflects this Church. Thus, when Jesus transforms the water into wine, it does not happen in historical level, but in a more profoundly symbolical way. Yes, Jesus helps the couple from disaster, but more than that, He supplies what is fundamentally lacking in every marriage: the best wine, the true joy of married life.

One of my duties as a deacon is to check whether the particular couple is canonically fit for the Church’s marriage. To fulfill this, I need to interview the couple and ask some pertinent questions. Yet, I usually go beyond, and I remind them why the Church does not recognize civil marriage. The answer is plain yet very basic: Jesus, the true Bridegroom, is not there, or to be precise, we make a deliberate effort to exclude Him in our marriage. The union between man and woman is not just a human, social and cultural phenomena but a divine reality. When a man and a woman commit themselves into marriage, God Himself who wills to make them one. Therefore, marriage is primarily and fundamentally God’s grace working in the human relationship. And if God unites them together, He will be the one who sustains and brings into perfection. This is why marriage is elevated into the level of sacraments of the Church.

However, I continue reminding the couples that marriage in the Church does not only mean to celebrate the sacrament of matrimony but to stay within the Church, the Bride of Christ, throughout their lives: to attend the Eucharist as a family, to participate actively in the Church as a couple, to pray regularly together. As the wine is impossible without a jar of waters, God’s grace will not work in our marriages unless we open ourselves to this grace. Like Mary who points Jesus what is lacking in the wedding in Cana, so the Church asks Jesus to fulfill every marriage with the best wine.

Deacon Valentinus Bayuhadi Ruseno, OP