29th Sunday in the Ordinary Time. October 16, 2016 [Luke 18:1-8]

 “…This widow keeps bothering me… (Luk 18:5)”

Getting tired and bored is unwanted yet unavoidable part of our lives. After doing things for a certain period of time, we get exhausted. Even if we are doing something we love, we are also bound to feel weary. Indeed, a man marries the woman he loves, but after sometime, encountering disappointments and problems, he begins to think whether he made the right decision. A woman loves dearly her teenage girl, but after sometime, her girl gets involved in substance abuse and runs away with his friends. She spends all her money and energy to win her daughter back yet to no avail, and she simply gets tired. As a religious brother, I love my vocation, but after years of waking up early, attending Mass and prayers, and plunging myself in rigorous study, I get bored.

In these times that we feel weak and weary, the temptation will set in and lure us to abandon our commitments. We are even emboldened to do crazy things and sin. We become like the judge in today’s Gospel, who “neither fear God nor respect human being’. We begin doing unthinkable things. We hurt people we love. We cause sufferings and misery to other people and ourselves.

However, we are so blessed that we have God who is like the nagging widow in the Gospel. He is knocking at our hearts day and night so that we may render justice to Him and our neighbors. Tirelessly He reminds us to be faithful to our commitments, repeatedly encourages us to persevere in doing good, and ceaselessly calls us back everytime we falter.

His unceasing care and ‘disturbance’ are manifested in subtle yet manifold ways. He places in us His subtle grace and joy in our daily prayer, despite boredom and sleepiness. He gives us family and friends who remain supportive to us in time of trials. He provides us with little blessings that we tend to ignore. One sustaining factor in my vocation, I believe, is that the Lord gives me a community. Indeed, sometimes living in a community is troublesome, but it provides also a structure and living ecosystem to support my Dominican religious life. My brothers will knock my door reminding me not to be late in prayer, encourage and evaluate my preaching, and in fact, correct me if I commit mistake. My community is my nagging God.

We may be tired of many things, exhausted in keeping our demanding commitments as spouses or parents, and bored of doing again and again our obligations as students or ministry as priests or religious. Yet, we remember we have our nagging God who persistently loves us and does not give up on us, even if we have already given up on ourselves. What we need to do is just open our eyes, ears and hearts to His subtle yet constant actions in us.

Br. Valentinus Bayuhadi Ruseno, OP