3rd Sunday of Easter [C]
John 21:1-19
May 1, 2022

Simon Peter is a total mess. He is impulsive and even perhaps explosive. One time, he tried to remind his Master and thought he was better than Jesus, but immediately, Jesus scolded him and even told him, “get behind me Satan.” At the Gethsemane, Jesus told His disciples that they would desert Him, Simon once again was full of confidence, and said, “Though all become deserters because of you, I will never desert you.” Jesus famously prophesied that Peter would eventually deny Him. Simon immediately countered, “Even though I must die with you, I will not deny you” [Mat 26:31-35]

Unfortunately, Peter was nothing but empty words and promises. When Jesus was arrested and detained in the high priest’s house, Peter was near the charcoal fire and tried to warm himself on a chilling night. While Jesus was thrown into the dungeon, Simon only care about himself and conveniently refused to acknowledge his identity as Jesus’ disciple. When the rooster crowed, Simon remembered what Jesus has said, and he went away and wept bitterly. Peter’s pride was shattered into pieces, and he must have realized that he was nothing but a big failure.

Indeed, Peter could have ended as a total mess, yet Jesus did not give up on him. In Galilee, Peter once again saw his Risen Master, and Jesus had prepared a charcoal fire and fish and bread. Seeing this charcoal, Peter was brought back to that moment he denied the Lord. Peter had chosen his warm and comfort zone in exchange for the Lord. Then, the Lord asked Peter, “Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?” John the evangelist informs us that Jesus is using the word ‘agape’, a higher and sacrificial love. This question shook Simon’s heart. Peter remembered how he used to say ‘I will sacrifice my life for Jesus’, but it was nothing but empty words. Now, Jesus demanded sacrificial love from Peter. Humbled by his failure, the best answer Simon could give is, ‘You know, I love you, Lord.” Here, Peter used the word ‘filia,’ a friendship friend.

Once again, Jesus demanded a total and radical love. For the second time, Peter could only offer ‘filia’. Simon did not want to repeat the same prideful mistake and knew at that moment, that Simon could only love Jesus as a friend. However, in the third question, Jesus made a dramatic change. Jesus did not longer demand sacrificial love, but rather accommodate Simon’s ability. Jesus asks, ‘do you love as a friend?’ Peter could not contain himself and was sorrowful. Jesus understood Peter’s heart and capacity and forgave and accepted Simon the way he was. Yet, that’s not the end of the story. Simon’s love for Jesus must grow, and the time would come when Peter would love Jesus radically and give himself up for Jesus.

The story of Peter is our story as well. Our lives have been a mess, but Jesus does not give up on us. And, when we are afraid to love Him, Jesus accepts us still. He journeys with us and enables us to grow in love, until the time we can say, “You know Lord, I love you!”

Valentinus Bayuhadi Ruseno, OP