Life of a Preacher

Twelve Sunday in Ordinary Time. June 25, 2017 [Mathew 10:26-33]

“What I say to you in the darkness, speak in the light; what you hear whispered, proclaim on the housetops (Mat 10:27).”

sent to preachSt. Francis of Assisi once said, “Preach the Gospel all time. When necessary, use words.” He correctly points out that preaching is not only the job of the priests in the pulpit, or lay preachers in the prayer meetings. Preaching the Gospel is the mission of all of us.  The preaching can happen in the family, as we show our children the meaning of true love, fidelity and respect. Preaching can take place in our workplaces as we uphold honesty, hard work, and dedication. Preaching may manifest in our daily life as we do justice, service to the needy, and kindness to our neighbors.

However, to preach Jesus Christ is not always smooth sailing. I myself have been in the ministry of preaching for some years, and at times, I have to face tough moments. When, I preach with a content and style that are outside of the box, some good and honest people come and rightly question the orthodoxy of my preaching. Yet, when I preach with predicted insight and usual delivery, young people will come and tell me it is boring. There are times that nobody’s listening to my preaching or reading my reflection. Sometimes, I feel tired, frustrated and bored. The same feelings may also befell us as we do our preaching in the family, workplace, the parish, or the society. It is frustrating when we are honest, but the rest are not. It is tiring when we know that we are the only one working hard. It is hurting to be backstabbed after all our service to others.

Yet, our life as a preacher is a lot better and safer than my brothers and sisters in other places. Our Dominican sisters of St. Catharine of Siena in Iraq chose to stay despite the ongoing war and turmoil that hit the country, and serve the refugees without any discrimination. In 2003, when US-led coalition invaded Iraq, they kept running the hospital in Baghdad amidst heavy fighting and looting in the capital. In 2014, when IS took the city of Mosul, the sisters were walking together with the refugees, and at forefront in helping and managing several refuge centers. For some others to preach Christ means violence and death. Last May, Fr. Miguel Angel Machorro was in critical condition after he was stabbed in the neck just right after saying the mass in Mexico City’s Cathedral. Fr. Teresito Suganob who was working among the Muslims in Marawi City, Philippines, was abducted when the group of extremists occupied the city. Nobody knows yet what happened to him.

What makes them preach the Gospel despite constant dangers to their lives? I believe that it is because they love the Lord dearly. This love, as Roman poet Virgil wrote, conquers all. Their love drives out the fear of death, empowers them in trials, and encourages them in face of frustrations and failures. In the words of St. Paul, “What will separate us from the love of Christ? Will anguish, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or the sword… No, in all these things we conquer overwhelmingly through him who loved us (Rom 8:35-37).”  True preaching, then is fuelled by true love of God and not seeking after our own glory. Without this love, we will back out when our preaching seems to fail, or we will feel proud when our ministry meets success. Do we have this love for Jesus? Are our preaching motivated by this love? Are we allowed to be overwhelmed by God’s love for us?

Br. Valentinus Bayuhadi Ruseno, OP

The Eucharist and Justice

The Solemnity of the Body and Blood of Jesus Christ. June 18, 2017 [John 6:51-58]

“Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him on the last day. (Joh 6:51)”

Sharing Bread 2Eating is essential to our life. Nobody would deny that eating is a matter of life and death, but there is always significant different between a beggar sitting by the gate of St. Domingo church and most of us who can enjoy a full meal three times a day. The beggar will ask himself, “How can I eat today?” While, we will inquire ourselves, “Where am I going to eat today? Is the ambience of the restaurant welcoming? Is the food as tasty as Filipino delicacy? Is the food safe from any cancer-causing substance?” For some, eating is about survival, but for some other, this phenomenon has evolved into something mechanically sophisticated. The society provides us with almost unlimited options of what we are going to eat, and seemingly we are masters of these foods as we possess the authority to choose what we like and shun what we don’t. But, we actually are slowly turning to be slaves of our appetite as we shift our focus not on the essential but on the trivial, like how we satisfy our fickle cravings.

 What we eat, how we eat, and where we eat reflect who we are, as well as our society, our world. While we can afford to eat at fine-dining restaurants, yet some of our brothers and sisters can only have one instant noodle for the whole day, it means there is something wrong with us, with our world. Once I watched a movie about two young ladies eating fried chicken in one of the fast food restaurants. They were not able to consume everything and threw the leftover at the garbage can. After some time, a poor man came and took that leftover. He brought that home and served it as the dinner for his small impoverished family. Yet, before they ate, they prayed and gave thanks for the food!

 Jesus offered Himself as food in the Eucharist, and this offer becomes the sign of the radical justice and mercy of God. It is mercy because despite nobody of us deserve His most holy body and blood, and attain the fullness of life and the resurrection of the body, He continues to give this profound grace to us. It is justice because He does not discriminate. All of us, whether we are men or women, whether rich or poor, whether healthy or sick, are created in His image and likeness and thus, invited to this sacred banquet. Yes, in the Eucharist, we only receive Jesus in a tiny and tasteless host, yet the small bread that scarcely fills our biological needs, is given to all who are coming to Him seeking rest and joy.

St. Paul in his first letter to the Corinthians rebuked the Christians there. One of the major reasons was that some (presumably rich) Christians refused to share the Eucharistic meal with other (presumably poor) Christians, and they let them without food. “When you meet in one place, then, it is not to eat the Lord’s supper, for in eating, each one goes ahead with his own supper, and one goes hungry while another gets drunk. (1 Cor 11:20-21). For Paul, this was a gross injustice and an offence against the Eucharist, because as Jesus gave His body and blood for all, so Eucharist has to symbolize this God’s radical self-giving.

Are we like the Corinthians who take the Eucharist yet neglect our hungry brothers and sisters around us? Are we living our identity as God’s image, and thus, reflect God’s radical justice? Do we become more like Christ, and manifest His boundless mercy? Do the body and blood of Christ in the Eucharist have effect in us?

Br. Valentinus Bayuhadi Ruseno, OP

The Revelation of Love

Solemnity of the Most Holy Trinity. June 11, 2017 [John 3:16-18]

 “For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him might not perish but might have eternal life (Joh 3:16)”

holy trinityToday, we are celebrating the Mystery of the Most Holy Trinity. This Mystery is rightly called the mystery of all the mysteries because the Holy Trinity is at the core of our Christian faith. Yet, the fundamental truth we believe is not only extremely difficult to understand, but in fact, it goes beyond our natural reasoning.  How is it possible that we believe in three distinct Divine Persons, the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, and yet they remain One God? Many great minds have tried to explain, but at the face of such immense truth, the best explanations would seem like a drop of water in the infinite ocean. Yet, we believe it precisely because the mystery is not coming from the human mind, but is revealed to us by God Himself.

The clearest experience of the Trinity in the Scriptures will be coming from St. Matthew. Jesus said to the disciples, “Go, therefore, and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit (Mat 28:19).” We observe that we are baptized for salvation only in “one name”. Surely this one name refers to one God himself. Yet, within this one Holy Name, there are three persons: the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.

St. Paul, the apostle to the Gentiles, often uttered blessings in the name of Holy Trinity. In his second letter, he greeted and blessed the Corinthians, saying “The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ and the love of God and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with all of you (13:13).” The same practice was also followed by St. Peter. In his first letter, he greeted the fellow Christians, “in the foreknowledge of God the Father, through sanctification by the Spirit, for obedience and sprinkling with the blood of Jesus Christ: may grace and peace be yours in abundance (1:2). It is true that the term Trinity is not in the Bible because the word was coined to facilitate our understanding, but as we have read, the Holy Scriptures revealed the truth and reality of the Holy Trinity.

If then the Holy Trinity is indeed revealed by God Himself, what is the point of having faith in the Holy Trinity then?  The answer may be discovered in today’s Gospel. The identity of God is love (see 1 Jn 4:6). The Father loves the Son totally, and the Son loves the Father radically, and the love that unites the Father and the Son is the Holy Spirit. In love, there is the beautiful dynamic of the three loves. Love is one, yet it is three. Now, it makes sense why God so loved the world and sent His only Son for our salvation. All because God is love.

If God is love and He wants to share His love and life with us, we have to get ready to enter that love. And the best way to prepare ourselves is that we need to become love itself. We need to be more loving, forgiving and generous. In short, we have to be more and more like the Trinity. As St. John of the Cross said, “In the twilight of life, God will not judge us on our earthly possessions and human successes, but on how well we have loved.”

Br. Valentinus Bayuhadi Ruseno, OP

 

The Spirit of Pentecost

Pentecost Sunday. June 4, 2017 [John 20:19-23]

“Receive the Holy Spirit. Whose sins you forgive are forgiven them… (Jn 20:22-23)”

pentecost holy spiritPentecost is the commemoration of the descent of the Holy Spirit upon the first disciples in the upper room. The usual images we have in our mind are usually dramatic and vivid. The disciples gathered in the upper room, suddenly the strong wind filled the room, followed by the appearance of the tongues of fire. Inspired by the Holy Spirit, the disciples began to speak various languages, and proclaimed the Gospel. This depiction of Pentecost comes from the Acts of Apostles (our first reading today). The same Acts tells us that Pentecost took place 50 days after Easter Sunday (Pentecost itself simply means ‘50’ in Greek).

However, the outpouring of the Holy Spirit in today’s Gospel from John gives us a slightly different image from that of the Acts. It is less dramatic, less lively, and less miraculous. There was no strong wind, no tongues of fires that rested on the disciples’ heads, no awesome ability to speak various languages. Only Jesus and His disciples. Yet, if we look closely on Jesus’ actions and words as well as the context of the story, the Pentecost that it represents is a poignant and transformative image.

The disciples locked themselves inside the room because of fear of the Jews. Their master just was executed, and they were afraid that the Jewish authorities and the Roman soldiers would also arrest them. But, it is also possible that they were actually afraid that risen Jesus would get back on them. They deserted Jesus when He was seized, persecuted and sentenced to death. They ran away when He was humiliated on the cross and died as a shameful criminal. It was a payback time, and Jesus could throw them to fire of hell in an instant. Yet, Jesus came not to exact vengeance, but to offer peace. He came not to satisfy His wrath, but to give them the Holy Spirit. This Spirit is the spirit of forgiveness, the power to heal, and the energy to unity. It also the Spirit of mission, of their being sent by Jesus. Indeed, Jesus bore the wounds in His body, but despite His wounds and pains, Jesus forgave them and empowered them to forgive in His Holy Spirit. Jesus showed them that violence only breeds violence, and vengeance causes more harm, and only forgiveness can bring true peace.

In our world today, many of us are hurt by violent words and actions of others, aggravated by the silence of good people. The natural tendency is to be angry and seek for justice. Yet, often, what happens is that we nurture the anger and hatred, and wait until the right time to vent this wrath in even more violent ways. But, keeping anger and hatred destroys nobody except ourselves. We become restless, stressed, and sick. Without realizing it, we become just like those who have hurt us. Pentecost is not just a commemoration of what happened in early Christianity, we need Pentecost right now and here. We pray for the Holy Spirit who empowers us to forgive others and ourselves, for the Spirit of Jesus who brings true peace and justice, for the Spirit of God who heals our brokenness.

Blessed Pentecost!

Br. Valentinus Bayuhadi Ruseno, OP

Leaving Jesus

Ascension Sunday. May 28, 2017 [Matthew 28:16-20]

“Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit (Mat 28:18)”

ascension 2

However, in the Gospel of Matthew, we have a fundamentally different story of Ascension. In fact, Matthew has technically no story of Ascension. In the last part of Matthew’a Gospel, neither Jesus was taken into heaven nor did He leave. What Jesus did was to send the disciples to make disciples of all nations, to baptize them and to teach them. It is actually the disciples who are moving away from Jesus. The Gospel of Matthew ends with Jesus’ promise that He will be with His disciples until the end of time. It is clear that in Matthew, Jesus never left His disciples. As the disciples were moving on with their new lives as apostles, Jesus remained and journey together with them.

I entered the minor seminary as early as 14. As I was leaving my home, it was not easy both for me and my parents. There were psychological anxieties and emotional longings to go home. But, the feelings subsided after some time, and a big factor was that my parents allowed and supported my decision to be away from them. They set me free and allowed me to go as a mature man creating his own destiny. Yet, I also realize that they actually never leave me. Biologically speaking, I have in my body the genes of my parents. Not only that, my actions reflect the upbringing that they provided me. From them, I learn the love for God and the Church, discipline and hard work, and basic leadership skills. What people see is me, but what I give them are coming from my parents.

In Ascension, Jesus does not keep us under His arms, He does not suppress our growth, and He does not want that we remain childish permanently. Jesus sets us, His disciples, free and empowers us to become men and women who forge our own paths. We need to leave Jesus so we may become His mature and free apostles. Yet, He never leaves us. We bring Jesus with us because Jesus has formed us in His image. As we receive Jesus from our parents, teachers, catechists, and priests, and after living with Jesus as His disciples, now it is our turn to preach and share Jesus to others, as we make all nations His disciples.

Br. Valentinus Bayuhadi Ruseno, OP

Meet the Holy Spirit

Sixth Sunday of Easter. May 21, 2017 [John 14:15-21]

“I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Advocate to be with you always, (Joh 14:15)”

paraclete 2Have you seen a spirit? When the word ‘spirit’ is mentioned, what image does appear in your mind? Perhaps, scary ghosts from some urban legends or Hollywood horror movies. The word ‘spirit’ conjures terrifying and often creepy images because it is related with the dead, the afterlife, and unexplained paranormal phenomenon. The Church herself warrants the existence of evil spirit or the demons, as the Church fights them through the ministry of exorcism.

However, in the bible, spirit is not frightening, and in fact, it is a fundamental concept and reality. In Hebrew language, spirit is ‘ruah’. This word ‘ruah’ is closely related to breath, air or wind. Spirit is like an air. It is formless and invisible, but all things are filled and surrounded by it. Spirit is like a wind. It cannot be controlled, but it is a powerful force that shapes nature. And spirit is like a breath. We cannot see and touch it, yet it fills us with life. Early in the story of creation, the Spirit of God was already introduced, as this Spirit swept over the waters (Gen 1:2). This ‘breath’ appeared once again in the story of human creation. God then breathed to his nostril the breath of life and man came to life (Gen 2:7). Then, when men and women became wicked, God would take away His ‘spirit’ from them and they would go back to earth (see Gen 6:3). From here, we can learn that the spirit is the power behind creation. It is the source of life in us. Moreover, it connects us with the Divine. Yet, because of sins, it might be lost, and man and woman shall go back to earth.

In today’s Gospel, Jesus taught that this Spirit of God is not just an inanimate force, but He is also a person. Jesus introduced Him as another Advocate. The word ‘another’ is significant, because the first Advocate is actually Jesus Himself (see 1 John 2:1). When Jesus went to the Father, the Spirit shall continue the works of Jesus and stand as His witness. As the divine Advocate, He will help, defend, strengthen, console and teach those who have faith in Jesus. It is important also to note that the Spirit is given in the context of keeping Jesus’ commandment. What is the new and greatest commandment of Jesus? “Love one another. As I have loved you, so you also should love one another (Jn 13:34).” The Spirit aids us in loving God and one another. In fact, He is our very power and capacity to love. Without Him, it is just impossible to love like Jesus.

Now we learn that the presence of the Holy Spirit is not only during the charismatic prayer meetings where someone begins to speak in tongue, but His presence and activity are permeating our lives. When we wake up in the morning and we are reminded to pray, He is in us. When we are hated and persecuted, yet we still proclaim the truth, He is in us. When living becomes laborious and painful, but we continue to love, He is in us. He is our Advocate, the third person in the holy Trinity, the Holy Spirit

Br. Valentinus Bayuhadi Ruseno, OP.

Faith and the Image of God

Fifth Sunday of Easter. May 14, 2017 [John 14:1-12]

 “Do not let your hearts be troubled. You have faith in God; have faith also in me (Joh 14:1)”

 have faith 1Jesus was about to leave His disciples and go back to His Father. The disciples were confused and failed to understand. Some were afraid of losing their Messiah. Some were puzzled by the actions of Jesus. Yet, despite this confusion and fear, Jesus reminded them not be troubled and to have faith in God and in Him.

The situation of the disciples almost two thousand years ago is actually our situation also here and now. We are troubled and perplexed by many problems. There are a lot of things that come our way and we do not understand why. We do not know why so much suffering and evil are afflicting our nation. We do not understand why good people are oppressed and those who have committed evil acts seem to have a good life. We do not understand why we are losing our job or business; why we are having so much financial troubles; why we are losing our family members; why we are having health issues. We keep asking why.

Today’s Gospel reminds us not to be troubled and have faith in God and in Jesus. Yes, we profess that we have faith in God. Yet, do we truly have faith in God or we actually believe in the images of a god we simply created in our minds? Perhaps, we tend to see God as an instant troubleshooter, who will handle all our problems anytime we need Him, or as a supreme law-giver who must be obeyed at all time. Yet, in difficult times, we see God does not solve our problems instantly or we observe those myriad injustices in our world that God seems to be inactive. We become troubled because our God or our images of God do not fit the reality.

If our faith is the stubbornness of a will to cling to particular images of God, then it is not true faith, but fundamentalism. Either we will eventually lose faith in God or we will begin to force to ourselves and other people to adhere to our image of God. Through trials and difficulties in life, our old, inadequate even false images of God are challenged and we are invited to rediscover the true God once again, more alive, more liberating. We will lose our faith in God if we simply cling to these old images and refuse to open ourselves to ‘many rooms’ God prepares for us. Jesus asks us to believe in God, and not in ourselves nor in the images of God we created. True faith means knowing that God will destroy our images of Him and yet, trust that it is all for our good. It is true, often we do not understand, but as we continue to have faith, and we may discover God who is more alive and liberating. He may come to him as the God of silence, who allows us to keep asking; as the God of surprises, who touches us in the most unexpected moments; as God of the ordinary, who walks with us in our daily struggles; and much more genuine images beyond our imagination.

What are trials and challenges that we have now? What are the images of God we have in our hearts now? Do we have faith in God or in ourselves?

 Br. Valentinus Bayuhadi Ruseno, OP

 

Access  

 

Fourth Sunday of Easter. May 7, 2017 [John 10:1-10]

 “I am the gate. Whoever enters through me will be saved, and will come in and go out and find pasture (Joh 10:1)”

gate of the sheep 1Jesus is not the gatekeeper, but Jesus is the gate Himself. A gate or a door gives a passage or access to a sheepfold, a house, a building or a room. It both separates and connects the insiders and the outsiders. In fact, the gate is as essential as the house itself. What is the building without a door or an entry point? It is either a construction error or it is not a sheepfold or a house at all. The gate is not only an accessory to the house, but it also defines the house itself. Is it an accessible house, locked house or not a house at all?

 Being part of the digital generation, we have our own ‘gateway’. In our familiar terms, this is the access, the connection or the networking. We use this access to communicate, to work and even to make important decisions. It turns to be part of who we are, as we crave for it, demand it, and fight for it. Sometimes, I get upset because the connection is poor inside the formation house that I cannot communicate with my family in Indonesia. A child as young as one year old knows how to manipulate an iPhone, and cries loudly when the parents try to take it away from him. Many researchers conclude that Facebook has become another new kind of addiction, as more and more millennials are spending more time on FB.  Lesley Alderman of The New York Times said that we check our cellular phone at an average of 47 to 82 times a day precisely because the access it gives us to almost everything.

Yet, it is not only about addiction or having fun. It is about our lives. A lot companies, jobs and workers are now dependent on this access, something which did not exist twenty years ago. Better connection means faster transaction, the richer the company becomes. The same access is used to control remotely unmanned machines, like drone. Some drones are used for photography, fun and researches, but others can be used to carry powerful explosives. Now, the access can either make us or destroy us.

In today’s Gospel, Jesus introduces Himself as the gate, the access or the connection to the fullness of life. Now, it is up to us whether we enter this gate and use this access, or refuse to enter and waste the connection. If we examine our daily lives, how many hours do we avail of this divine access? We might be upset if we lose our internet connection, but do we get the same feeling when we miss the connection with God? How many hours do we spend for browsing the internet, and eagerly chat with our online friends, compared to the time we use to read the Bible and worship Jesus in the Eucharist? We might be surprised that we actually only remember God on Sunday. And in fact, within the Mass, we are also preoccupied with what inside our phone!

It is one of the fundamental reasons why many of us are unhappy, restless, and at a lost despite the success, riches and other access we possess. Perhaps, it is good to disconnect first from the many connections we have, and connect to the true source of joy. If we are not finding lives meaningful, it is because we are not entering that gate that leads us to the fullness of life.

Br. Valentinus Bayuhadi Ruseno, OP

 

Journey to Emmaus and the Eucharist

Third Sunday of Easter. April 30, 2017 [Luke 24:13-35]

“…while he was with them at table, he took bread, said the blessing, broke it, and gave it to them. 31 With that their eyes were opened and they recognized him… (Luk 24:30-31)”

emmaus 2Luke wonderfully narrated the Journey to Emmaus in such a way that it became a catechetical instruction on the Eucharist. The two disciples were actually running away from Jerusalem. After the death of their master, the situation turned to be dangerous for their lives. They were afraid of the Jewish authorities and their hope and dream of having a Messiah were shattered. Better for them to go away and return to their former lives. Yet, Jesus surprisingly came, healed their wounds, and reappointed them as His apostles. However, let us see some details of today’s Gospel and how this narrative speaks of the Eucharist.

It begins with Jesus coming to the two disciples in their struggles, and inviting them to be with Him. He gathers and listens to all His disciples’ worries, failures and anxieties. The initiative is coming from Jesus. After listening to their stories, He starts to explain the Scriptures. He sheds light on how His life, death and resurrection have become the fulfillment of the scripture. This part is traditionally called ‘kerygma’ or proclamation. Then He connects the meanings of these events to His disciples’ lives. What is happening here is the first part of the Mass, the Liturgy of the Word: God gathers us His people with all our joys and sorrows and then, He nourishes us with His Word.

What follows is the breaking of the bread. Yet, before this takes place, the disciples have to do their part in inviting Jesus to stay with them. The initiative is from God, but we need to do our effort to participate in His work and make it fruitful. Then, Jesus takes the bread, blesses it, breaks it and shares it with the disciples. These very acts remind the disciples of Jesus in the Last Supper. In fact, the breaking of the bread is an ancient and biblical name for the Eucharist. The basic purpose of the Eucharist is to present the real Christ, and indeed, the disciples are able to recognize Him here. This is the first Eucharist after the Resurrection, and this brings healing and forgiveness. It gives meaning to the troubled lives and shattered hopes of the disciples. Then, after being nourished by His Word and His Body, the disciples’ hearts are burning and they go back to Jerusalem to proclaim the risen Jesus. The encounter with the risen Lord always leads to mission and preaching. These depict the second half of the Mass, the liturgy of the Eucharist.

Luke wrote his Gospel more than 1900 years ago, and it is amazing that the basic structure of the Eucharist remains even to this very day. Certainly, there are also many changes along the way, like for example the transformation from the old Latin Mass to the post-Vatican II mass, the ordinary form we have now. Yet, we are still faithful to what are truly essential and foundational: the reading and preaching of the Word and the breaking of the Bread. We are blessed and humbled that we are members of the Church who faithfully encounter Jesus, the Word and the Eucharist, just like the two disciples in the Gospel and like the first Christians in ancient time. It is now our challenge to continue living as the Eucharistic people in our daily lives, the men and women nourished by His Word and Body in the Eucharist.

Br. Valentinus Bayuhadi Ruseno, OP

The Paradox of Resurrection

Second Sunday of Easter. April 23, 2017 [John 20:19-31]

“Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands and put my finger into the nailmarks and put my hand into his side, I will not believe (John 20:25).”

doubting thoms 1Thomas was looking for a proof that Jesus truly rose from the dead. Not only seeing Him in person, he required another sign: touching the crucifixion marks that Jesus bore.  He was one of the Twelve, the inner cycle of Jesus’ disciples, and being one, he had the privilege to walk with Jesus, dine with Him, and witness His mighty deeds. At a first glance, he would easily recognize Jesus, his Master, but still, he demanded the marks of the nails. Why did Thomas insist on searching the wounds?

The reason is that Thomas wanted to make sure that he and other disciples were not seeing a ghost or just hallucinating. Moreover, he wanted to confirm that the person he was going to meet was truly Jesus and not an impostor. The crucifixion wounds of Jesus became a practical identification of the risen Christ. Though it is really practical, there is also a downside of it. Thomas identified Jesus primarily with His wounds. Thomas was not alone here. Often, not only doubting, we follow Thomas also in identifying other people with their wounds and weaknesses.

Napoleon Bonaparte was once a great general and he led his army to conquer Europe. Yet, in 1815, in the battle of Waterloo in present-day Belgium, Napoleon was defeated and it was sealed his fate. Waterloo gradually becomes not only the crucifixion mark of Napoleon but also a metaphor for the failures of many people. The same goes with Achilles who was a hero in Greek Mythology and the main protagonist of Homer’s epic, the Iliad. He was the most skillful warrior who brought the mighty Troy to its knees. He had only one vulnerable point in his body, his heel, and indeed, he died after the enemy shot an arrow to his heel. Even the greatest warrior has his weakness, and since then, the Achilles’ heel becomes a symbol of fatal weakness to everyone.

We have our own weaknesses, failures, and vulnerabilities. Often, we associate ourselves or other people with this wounds and marks. Bayu, who is always late; Alex, the jobless; Ram, the sickly; Andre, the obsessed; Francis, the ex-con; Peter, the impulsive denier; Thomas, the doubter; Mary, possessed by the seven demons; Judas, the betrayer; Jesus, the crucified. We are our wounds. We are as good as the mark we bear.

However, in today’s Gospel, Jesus did not rebuke Thomas for looking only for His marks. Jesus did not demand Thomas to focus on the best of Him. He even asked him to see and touch the wounds. Jesus embraced the very marks of His defeat and made it a sign of His resurrection. This has become the proof of God’s marvelous works, and the counter place between Thomas and God. It is not a ‘positive talk’ that goes “if you fail a hundred times, get up one hundred and one times!” It goes beyond it. The resurrection calls us neither to deny nor to hide our weaknesses, but to see the Lord even in these lowest situations of our lives. At times, when we are weak, our defenses are down, and it is the time, God enters our lives. At times, when we fail and lose, we fall to our knees and pray. This is the paradox of the resurrection!

Br. Valentinus Bayuhadi Ruseno, OP