27th Sunday in Ordinary Time
October 3, 2021
Mark 10:2-16

Some people accuse the Church of being old-fashioned because Catholic marriage is a monogamous and permanent union. We are denounced for being insensitive and inflexible to various marriage problems that rock the spouses and demand divorce. The Catholic Church is blamed for the unhappy marriages because we refuse to hear the demands of the post-modern societies.

However, many forget that divorce, adultery, infidelity, and domestic violence are older than Jesus and the Church He founded. These awful things have been taking place since the dawn of humanity. What is old-fashioned and causing unhappiness is nothing but sin. Jesus’ teaching on marriage is radical because He bulldozes various thick walls of sins and returns to the original plan for God.

When the Pharisees tested Jesus and brought up the issue of divorce, they would expect that Jesus would like to take a side either with the conservative view of divorce or the more relaxed one. After all, Moses permitted divorce. Yet, Jesus seized the moment and dropped the bomb. He did not take a side, but He revoked Moses’ permit on divorce. Jesus knew well that Moses had been forced to issue that regulation because of the hardness of hearts.

Jesus reminded the Pharisees of the original plan of God for men and women. By quoting the Book of Genesis, Jesus taught that man and woman could find true happiness neither in ‘animals’ nor things nor manipulate another man or woman. Jesus, as the creator of marriage, reiterated that only by ‘leaving their father and mother’ and ‘be one with his wife’ can a man be one whole body. This is a powerful language that man and woman can find true wholeness by giving themselves totally to each other.

Monogamous marriage is a divine and human institution to protect and encourage spouses to give their lives entirely and love radically. Husbands are invited to become more mature men and assume the role of protector, provider, and leader. Wives are called to be more loving and to become someone who genuinely nurtures and educates. As they give each other more, the more they grow and the more they rediscover themselves, and the more they find greater joy.

With more mature and loving couples, marriage becomes the best place to grow for our children. It is where they are received, protected, and loved. Here, they learn the first best values in their lives: love, fidelity, justice, commitment, and sacrifice.

Some people say that this kind of marriage is too complicated and too beautiful to be true. Yet, it is pure and simply beautiful. What makes things in marriage complicated and challenging is sin. Domestic violence creates deep and traumatic wounds, and our children may grow as violent adults. Adultery destroys fidelity and trust and forms the children into someone who is distrustful. Divorce injures human relations permanently and leads our children into turmoil.

While it is true that marriage life can be extremely tough, husbands and wives are not never alone. God who calls them into communion will provide the necessary grace. And with God’s grace, even the trials and hardship in marriage can turn into an occasion of love and growth.

Valentinus Bayuhadi Ruseno, OP