23rd Sunday in Ordinary Time [C]
September 4, 2022
Luke 14:25-33

Once again, we stumble upon the hard sayings of Jesus. “If anyone comes to me without hating his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple.” This statement indeed makes us wonder deeply. Did Jesus really want us to hate someone we should respect and love the most? Why did Jesus ask to hate our parents, but He teaches us to love even our enemies? Is He not contradicting Himself (once again)? How do we need to understand Jesus’ tough saying?

The first thing is to consider the meaning ‘hate’ in the context of the Bible. ‘Hate’ does not mean to do harms or evil things to someone. ‘Hate’ simply means to ‘love’ someone ‘less’. A good example is in the case of Jacob, Rachel and Leah. “So Jacob went in to Rachel also, and he loved Rachel more than Leah… When the Lord saw that Leah was hated, he opened her womb… (Ge 29:30–31)” Jacob ‘hated’ Leah, means that he loved Rachel more than Leah. Thus, when Jesus said that in following Him, we need to hate our family, this means that we have to love Jesus more than our family. This is indeed a just demand. If Jesus is our Lord, then we should love Him above everything, including our beloved parents, siblings or children.

The second important thing we need to see is the immediate context. Jesus was in His way to Jerusalem, and there, He would face His cross. If the disciples really decide to walk in the footstep of His Master, then they have to ‘hate’ their family, their works, and even lives. Otherwise, if they remain attached to their family, possessions and earthly relations, they would not be able to bear the sufferings as consequence of following Jesus. No wonder in the previous chapters, Jesus even said to those wanted to become His disciples, “let the dead bury the dead!”

From these two perspectives, Jesus’ hard teachings makes sense. However, what is interesting is that in real lives, the more we love Jesus, the more we love our family. In truth, there is no competition between Jesus and our family, because Jesus is loved through loving our families. The key is that our love to our family has to be Christ-centred. The fathers of the family love God by leading their families closer to God, and educating their children to honor God and love the true faith. The mothers love God not only by caring and raising their children, but by teaching them the genuine devotion to God. Finally, parents consecrate their children to as their best offerings.

While it is true that some Christians decided to follow Christ in more radical and total way, like the priests, religious man and women and even the lay missionaries, it does not mean we stop loving our families. In fact, we are offering them in our prayers and Mass.
To love God and to place Jesus as the center of our lives and families put everything in proper order. And, when things in order, we find the true happiness and fulfilment in this life.
A Roma
Valentinus Bayuhadi Ruseno, OP