21^st Sunday in Ordinary Time [B]

August 25, 2024

Ephesus 5:21-32

In his letter to the Ephesians, St. Paul instructed wives to be subordinate to their husbands, not only in matters of economics or raising children but in everything. St. Paul’s teaching seems wrong and even sexist to modern readers. Are not women and men equal? Why did wives have to obey men in everything? Are the women mere slaves of their husbands?

Firstly, we need to know Paul’s historical context. At this time, women were indeed considered not equal to men. Save for some exceptional females, women were treated as the property of men. While men were working outside, women stayed at home. Wives were to take care of the house, give birth to the children, and raise them. Generally, women had no right to inheritance and no political rights. It was just a bad time for women to live.

Paul recognized this situation and challenged it. How? He wrote the letter addressed to wives! Women did not receive letters, and if they did, the letter must be addressed to their husbands. By this simple act alone, Paul not only challenged the cultural mentality of his time but also affirmed God’s original purpose. “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them (Gen 1:27).” Both men and women were created in God’s image and, thus, share the same dignity as God’s children.

Yet, Paul also acknowledged that though men and women are equal in dignity, they have different roles and functions. Biologically, men are physically stronger and, thus, are responsible for protecting and providing. In comparison, women possess the character to give and nurture life. Both men and women are complementary to each other. At the same time, this mutual relationship creates a community, marriage and family. Like other groups or communities, marriage presupposes order and hierarchy to function properly. St. Paul’s word ‘subordinating’ finds its true meaning in this understanding. To be subordinated means to be under the proper order. Thus, St. Paul began with a statement to both husband and wife, “Be subordinate to one another out of reverence for Christ!” because both must be under proper order.

Here comes Paul’s unique contribution. Husband and wife are like a relationship between Jesus and the Church, His bride. Like Jesus, husbands are the heads and figures of authority. Yet, Paul also reminded us that the order that governs Jesus and His Church is love. So also, the authority given to men is to love their women. Men love their wives to the point of dying, and only with dying can they lead their wives in holiness. Without dying, men’s authority turns to a reign of terror, and women are rebelling. Marriage becomes unhappy and even collapses. Only when men and women are subjecting themselves to the order of love will they reach the purpose of marriage, which is a way of holiness.

Surabaya

Valentinus Bayuhadi Ruseno, OP

Guide questions:

For husbands: how do you love your wife? Will you die for your wife? To what do you die? Pride, anger, selfishness? Do you hurt your wife? Do you apologize to your wife when you do something wrong? Do you lead your wife to holiness? How do you lead your wife into holiness? Are you a good head/leader of the family?

For wives: how do you love your husbands? Do you obey your husband? Do you help him to be a good husband and father? How do you help your husband in living in holiness? Do you hurt your husband (and how)?